Who am I?

Who am I?

And what do I need?
What is it that my restless mind seeks?


 A myriad nightmares keep me up all night
Ghosts from the past perhaps,
or fears of the future, uncertain, unseen?
A throbbing dull pain that refuses to cease
I give a faint smile as if it were brought on lease
Carrying on my chores, each day is the same
Yet there are desires, too wild to tame,
Stacked up in the corners of my mind.
Surfacing once in a while, memories of a different Me
The Me that I have left far, far behind.
I sit on the fence, a void in my heart, no one can sight;
Dull eyes afraid to show their spark and light.
Carefree and bold, fearless and strong,
Was I not the same person that had defeated every storm?
A warrior victorious in every battle
Now a shaken soul, powerless, having lost my mettle!
Straighten up, brush up your armour
A voice calls out deep in my slumber
Sometimes things never fall into place
Accept and move on, this is not your race.
But then, shrouded by doubts that never disappear
Every gift seems a trap, every person becomes a stranger
Is this really where I belong?
If only I could erase every memory, every word, every song!
This is my world though,
built by the choices I have made.
Some have been wise, some reckless!
But the more I run from it all,
Guilt and culpability build up a higher wall!
It seems all dark, all bleak,
All of it seems just another illusion,
Someday I shall be released from this prison.
The soul is infinite, and so is the miracle of life
As I am oft reminded, this too shall pass!
Flowers bloom in the desert
They just take more time, that is all!
My prayers will be answered,
My wings will grow back,
Like a phoenix, I’ll rise from my ashes
Eternal and free, I shall soar in the skies!

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